best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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