Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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