There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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