I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
