but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
