No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
