TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
