Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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