How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
