I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
