she was so not down for the gang bang
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
