so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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