nut hugger
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
