Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
