I cockslap morals
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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