That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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