My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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