we have pet lesbian snakes
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
