At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
