too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
it glows. i had to have it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
