Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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