Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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