Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just cropdusted the office
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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