his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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