singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
is that a dick in a sweater?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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