try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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