She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
