OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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