i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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