Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
