what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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