i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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