Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
