So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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