What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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