Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
