They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize