remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
