It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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