We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
