Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize