being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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