Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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