yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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