nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize