it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
