We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
