No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just puked most of my soul out..
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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