Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize