you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well I just put wine in my tea
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
