I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize