I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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