I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
