do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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