like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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