i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
