Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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