Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
