Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
We named our party play list daddy issues
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
