will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I party with great urgency now.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
