You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize