hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
