i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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