im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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