what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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