Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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