idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
