please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize