I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize