If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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