My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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