dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
