I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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