I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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