No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize