Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
